C.H.I.M.P.S.: Frozen Hearts

Story & characters © 2-6-2016 revised 11-29-2018 by Joshua J. Weremonkey

In this episode, the secret agents have to save their city and the entire world from being frozen solid by the sinister Raven.

Characters in this episode:

Connor Jackson, secret agent/sk8r

Jude Coles, secret agent/sk8r

Joey Leake, secret agent

Lucas Edward Wilder, secret agent, scientist

Dr. Edward Wilder, scientist, dad of Lucas

Nathan Winters, secret agent, genius

Corey Waters, twin of Mitchell, secret agent

Mitchell Waters, twin of Corey, secret agent

Ben Sawyer, secret agent, singer

Joel Hunter, secret agent, truck stop trick

Jack Cook, secret agent, chef

Raven, madman/super villain wears his signature Raven bird mask

Lexis Iranda, dumbass sidekick


It was Friday February 12, 2016 7 AM. Connor Jackson awoke to the sound of ice pounding down on the roof and windows of his dorm cabin. The ice pellets ranged from tiny pebbles on up to ping pong ball size. It was a nasty day but the weekend was coming and Sunday was Valentine’s Day. Connor Jackson could not wait. Before heading off to school Connor spoke into his new agency issued smart watch updating his profile and confidential log app…

“My name is Connor Jackson. I’m thirteen years old, I like to skateboard, and oh yeah, I’m also a secret agent. At school everyone just thinks I’m a normal kid. Only a few of my friends know the truth. My best friend Jude Coles is kind of my partner. He helps me out on some of my missions. Our friend Nathan Winters is like super smart and he helps out a lot too. He’s our ops link at C.H.I.M.P.S. headquarters which stands for Chaos Halting Intelligent Mutant Protection Squad. We battle any villains that regular authorities cannot or will not handle. Headquarters blends into school campus. It appears as just any common school building but is actually a clever hiding place for all us agents and those with special powers. We learn and polish our individual skills safely there. Now you might be asking yourself how a thirteen year old kid became a secret agent. Good question. See my dad was a teacher at the school and a secret agent too. I used to help him out sometimes. He taught me everything I needed to know about being a secret agent. Then about two years ago my dad disappeared. Some people think he’s dead but I still have hope that he’s out there somewhere. My arch-enemy goes by the name Raven. He’s a strange man and always wears a black mask and glasses to hide his true identity. I have good reason to believe Raven is behind the disappearance of my father. End of log entry. Secure save Charlie Juliett.”

As soon as Connor finished up his log entry his smart watch flashed. It was an alert. The screen flashed the words “FOR YOUR EYES ONLY” Connor moved his eye closer to the screen on the watch to give authentication for the message to appear. The message that showed was “Meet me at location 369 after school over and out Agent November Whiskey.” The screen flashed again and showed the words “secure delete” Oh wow something big must be going down Connor thought to himself.

Connor pulled his helmet over his short dark hair, hopped on his skateboard and started riding it to class. His friend Jude flew up the sidewalk in back of him and was soon riding along side him. Connor and Jude went to put their boards and stuff in their lockers. Jude asked, “So what do you wanna do this weekend?”

“Oh I dunno. Watch some Netflix. Eat some pizza. Save the world.”

“Well I’m afraid it’s going to have to be the latter. I got a message and we need to meet up with Agent November Whiskey after school.”

“Too bad it’s after school and not now. I’ve got this major test today and it has me totally stressed out.”

“Oh I know the one Ms. Tyson is giving. I mean come on. What is anyone gonna need to use calculus for in real life?”

“Ugh I know. Okay so we’ll meet here after school okay.”

“Okay cool.”

“Bye Jude.”

“Later Connor.”

Jude watched Connor as he walked away. Jude and Connor had been friends for a while. Lately Jude’s feelings for Connor had grown stronger. He really wanted to ask Connor out but he was scared he would lose the friendship they shared.

After school Nathan met up with Connor at his dorm cabin. He said, “Hey Connor. I just got info from headquarters. Raven is trying to steal an ancient and powerful crystal ice skull from the city museum. He also has hostages so be careful. The mini super jet is all ready to go and you’ll find it on the roof of the science building.”

“We’re on it.” Jude showed up and Connor said with a grin, “No time to chit chat. We gotta jet.”

“Literally? Ha Ha! You’re a riot Connor.”

“Yup it’s on the roof,” Connor smiled.

Connor’s father had taught him how to fly a jet before he went missing. Connor and Jude got in the jet and were off to find Raven.

When they got there Raven’s partner in crime Lexis Iranda slithered into the jet and punched Connor square in the jaw. Connor said, “Why Lexis you punch like a freakin’ girl.”

“Shut it Connor! This girl can kick your wimpy butt!”

“Lexis you scumbag! Why would Raven even let you work with him?”

“I work for free just so I can beat the living crap out of you!”

“In your dreams girl!”

Connor got up and kicked Lexis away. Lexis rolled out of the jet and onto the ground. She jumped up and kicked Connor in the head. Jude came up behind her and knocked her out with his skateboard. Connor got up and stepped over Lexis’s unconscious body. He said, “Jude why did you have to knock Lexis out so quickly? I was just starting to have fun. Ha Ha!”

“Yeah well in case you don’t remember we have to stop Raven from stealing the crystal skull.”

“Oh yeah. Let’s go!”

Connor and Jude hooked their ropes onto the roof of the museum then slid down into the room. Inside Raven already had the crystal skull in his hands. Connor said, “Drop it now punk!”

“Well if it isn’t my favorite secret agent. Mr. Connor Jackson. And your little friend Jonnor.”

“Uh it’s Jude actually,” Jude scowled at Raven.

“Like it matters,” Raven replied.

“Hey punk, don’t get me mad or I’m gonna have to kick your a…butt.”

“Oh I’m so scared. Get ‘em boys.” Raven’s minions attacked Connor and Jude.

Meanwhile Lexis was going after what Raven really wanted. Next to the museum was a laboratory. Dr. Edward Wilder was the creator of a weather machine that was still in development at the laboratory. Lexis and her cronies came in and took Edward and the machine with them. Connor and Jude had no idea all this was going while they were busy fighting Raven and his minions. When Raven got word from Lexis that all was taken care of he called his men off. He said, “Okay Connor you win this one. Don’t expect me to be so easy on you next time.”

Raven and his men then ran to the roof and flew off in a helicopter. Connor and Jude thought something was fishy about all this. Why would Raven just give up so easily? Nathan called Connor on the cell phone. “Uh Connor we got a problem. Raven’s attempt to steal the crystal skull was just a ruse. While you guys were busy doing that it appears that Lexis was next door and kidnapped a man named Dr. Edward Wilder and took his experimental weather machine.”

“Damn Lexis that punk. Well what do we gotta do?”

“Go to Edward’s house. His son Lucas should be getting home from school soon. You guys need to protect him in case Raven tries to come after him too. You see Lucas is the only other person besides Ron that knows how to use the weather machine. He’s very smart and has helped his father with the construction of the weather machine. And if Raven finds that out he just may come after him as well.”

“Okay just tell us where to go and we will go get him.”

Connor and Jude got the location from Nathan and were off to retrieve Lucas. They got to his house and tried to explain to him what was going on. Lucas didn’t fully grasp it all but he understood that Connor was there to protect him. So Connor and Jude took Lucas to a safer place. Their number one job now was to make sure nothing happened to Lucas.

Connor and Jude sat with Lucas. They all started talking and getting to know each other.

Connor said, "It’s must be really sweet to have a science lab like your Dad does. You get to invent cool stuff all the time. You must be really smart Lucas.“

Lucas answered, “Well you know it’s not like I’m some super genius. I’m just a bit more advanced than other kids my age. Other than that I’m just your average boy. I’d assume you could relate a bit seeing as how you have this whole secret life and at school you are just like all the other kids.”

“Yeah I guess. But I’m nowhere near as smart as you. My friend Nathan is actually the smartest kid in our school. I bet you two would have a lot in common.


Back at C.H.I.M.P.S. headquarters a couple of the genius agents Nathan Winters and Corey Waters were sitting at a chess table.

"Do you wanna play chess?” Nathan asked.

“You wanna play with my chest?” Corey teased.

“Ha! Ha! definitely but later. We have to be on duty in case the agents contact us for assistance. So for now let us just play chess you silly goofball.”

Meanwhile outside headquarters, Joel Hunter and Jake Chandler were doing target practice on a bunch of tin cans lined up on a fence. Joel was using his Remington rifle and Jake was using his bow and arrow. Jimmy Wolfe scrambled to keep the can targets placed and not get his tail shot off in the process.

Jimmy and Ben Sawyer had broken up as a couple right after their run in with the evil Santa on Christmas. Ben noticed Jake and Jimmy had become closer so he figured it would be for the best. Jake and Jimmy had become a steady couple on New Years eve. The three were always going to be best of friends and cabin mates. Nothing was going to change that.

Ben was sitting alone on his bed in his dorm cabin writing and singing the blues. Joel walked by the cabin and heard the sweetest music he ever heard playing. He felt mesmerized by Ben’s music He looked in the open doorway and saw Ben with his long hair flowing down from his stylish hat. Joel was totally hooked.

“Your music is beautiful Ben. Totally amazing!” Joel said as he walked inside.

“Thanks Joel. Relax here next to me and I will sing a song just for you.”

Joel laid back on the bed with his head propped up by a couple soft pillows as Ben began to play his guitar and sing.

“If I loved you Would you walk away? If I kissed you Would you tell me to stay? I don’t want to Make any mistakes And I don’t want to Be too late

But if I loved you Love wouldn’t fade away If I kissed you Would you leave today? And if I forgot you Went my separate way Lived my life without you Would it be OK? Me leaving without you

If I loved you Would you walk away? And if I kissed you Would you tell me to stay?

If I loved you Would it be too late? And if I kissed you Would you up and leave? Come stay with me, Stay with me.

If I loved you Would you walk away? And if I kissed you Would you tell me to stay? I don’t want to Make any mistakes And I don’t want to Be too late

But if I loved you Love wouldn’t fade away And if I was with you I’d cherish every day.”

“What do you think of my song Joel?”

“It’s perfect Ben Sawyer! I love it! I love you!”

“Awww thanks Joel I wrote it with you in mind. I love you too!”

"What a perfect Valentines Day" Joel thought to himself. Joel and Ben moved closer to each other on the bed to kiss. They did not notice as a strange icy breeze flowed into their room from an open window. They froze solid just before their lips landed.


“Raven has begun freezing the whole city,” Jude cried. “Connor come on we gotta stop him!”

Connor, Jude, and Lucas got in the jet and took off. Connor pulled Nathan up on the monitor. Nathan said, “Okay we have Raven’s location. I’ll give the exact coordinates to where he is. Connor you must hurry. It’s getting colder as we speak. Raven wants to freeze the entire city. And if he succeeds he will move on to freezing the entire planet and everyone on it.”

“Why does this psycho want to do this kinda stuff all the time for anyway?”

“Who knows why he does anything. Like you said he’s a psycho. But if Raven could control the weather he could use that to his advantage in many ways. So we must make sure we get that machine away from him. Connor check the glove compartment.”

Connor opened it and found a common looking metal skateboard truck. Connor asked, “It’s just a skateboard truck. What do you want me to do with it?”

“That’s not just any truck Connor. Notice there is a button in the middle. Push it and a rope will shoot out with a small anchor on the end. You will be able to use it to get to a higher elevation or swing.”

“Sick! Thanks man. Okay Nathan we’re just about there. So where are you in all this?”

“Hey you two handle the bad guys. I’ll give you the information you need.”

“Okay Nathan. But I’m gonna get you out here on a mission some day, just you wait and see.”

“In your dreams punk!”

Connor landed the jet outside the building that Raven was hiding out. Connor asked Jude to stay with Lucas. Connor got out and sneaked into the building. Inside Raven and his twisted sidekick Lexis were hovering over Dr. Wilder who was at the weather machine. Raven and Lexis were dressed in super-thermal suits to keep them from freezing.

Dr. Wilder said, “We have to stop now. If we don’t the whole city will freeze.”

“That’s the idea Doc!” Raven snorted.

Dr. Wilder reached over to turn the machine off but Lexis slapped his hand. She said, “Don’t try any funny stuff. You know if you won’t do this we can always get your son to come help us.”

“No!” Dr, Wilder protested. He still had no idea that his son was already under the protection of Connor and Jude. “Leave him out of this. I’ll do whatever you say.”

“Well good. That’s more like it.”

Connor could feel his toes getting numb from the cold. He really wished he had brought some warmer socks. Jude and Lucas were jumping around in the jet to keep their blood flowing. They even had the heater on as high as it could go but since they were so close to the weather machine it didn’t help much.

Dr. Wilder was having trouble cooperating so Lexis was ordered to retrieve Lucas to use as leverage. Lexis went outside and found Jude and Lucas in the jet. She threw a can of “Batman Brand” knock out gas into the jet and Jude and Lucas were quickly knocked out. Lexis grabbed the two boys and went back inside.

Lexis said, “Now Doc if you want your son to live you had better do everything we tell you too.”

“Lucas! Let him go. He has nothing to do with this!”

“Well we just want to make sure that you don’t try to trick us in anyway. So know that if you do your son will pay the price.”

Connor looked and saw that Lexis had Jude as well. Lexis yelled, “And I know you can hear me Connor. You may as well give up now. We got your little friend. Now you’re out there all alone.”

Connor grabbed the skateboard truck and threw it. He swung across the room and kicked Lexis in the head. She was knocked to the floor.

Connor said, “Give up?“

"Not on your life bro.” Lexis sneered.

Lexis got up and went after Connor. The two fought while Raven kept an eye on Dr. Wilder and the other two hostages. Lexis kicked Connor down and sat on his chest. She held his face between her hands. Connor said, “Lexis if you wanted my body so badly all you had to do was ask. Ha Ha!”

“You wish. You know Connor I’ve had enough of you. The way you’re always whining about your father’s disappearance and how you want him back. Get over it. He’s dead, just accept that.”

“He’s not dead!”

“You know I never even met my father but you don’t see me whining about it.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Connor said with genuine sympathy in his voice.

“Hey I wasn’t looking for sympathy. I’m just trying to tell you to get over it. I did.”

"Well Lexis you never got over being dumped by a couple of our crew when they decided to date dudes instead of you. After that you turned to a life of crime.”

"You don’t know me at all Connor Jackass! All you guys suck!“

Connor easily pushed Lexis off now that she was upset and distracted. He pulled out the skateboard truck and shot it to the ceiling. He swung over and kicked Raven down. Then he set Jude and Lucas free. Connor and Lucas fought off Raven and Lexis while Lucas went to help his father. Raven could tell he was about to lose. Connor had him and Lexis cornered. Raven and Lexis decided to try to make their escape. Connor had them backed up against a window. He said, “Well it looks like you’ve no where to go. I’ve got you this time Raven!”

Raven said in a commanding voice, “Oh I wouldn’t be so sure of that Connor Jackson not so special secret agent.” Raven took his coat off revealing a jet pack. Lexis grabbed on to him and the two flew off out the window. Connor ran to the jet but by the time he got there it was already too late. Raven and Lexis had flown off into the frigid night sky.

Dr. Wilder was frantically trying to shut down his weather machine. Red alert lights were flashing and the meter was stuck in the danger zone. "What have I done boys? I can’t stop the freezing effects of my machine. It has not been tested at these levels yet.”

Nathan Winters and Joey Leake walked into the room and saw all their friends shivering to death from the cold. Nathan had the power to freeze things but that would do no good now.

“Oh no!”

Connor sounding defeated said, "Sorry, looks like the mission was not such a success this time Nate buddy.“

Joey sat down next to his boyfriend Lucas on the freezing floor. Lucas reached for Joey to hold him close so they might not freeze so fast.

"Be careful to get too close Lucas. I’m so scared I just wet myself.”

“It’s okay Joey.” Lucas said as he hugged his boyfriend close.

Soon everyone had fallen asleep due to the effects of the cold and had frozen solid. The only thing left in motion was Joey’s warm, wet accident which had now flowed down under the sinister weather machine. The machine made a whining sound. Sparks shot out everywhere and the machine was shutting down. The loud noise awoke everyone in the room.

Lucas looked over to the machine and yelled out. “Joey you saved us all!”

“Umm what … WHAT?” Joey stammered as he was thawing out.

Connor said, “Yeah dude you saved us, the city and the whole world!”

Jude added laughing, “Yay, saved by pee power!”

Residents of the city that had frozen solid soon thawed out like nothing had happened except for unexplained missing time. The unnatural effects of the weather machine were luckily non life threatening. All the students back at the campus including Joel and Ben thawed out too.

The next day, Saturday February 13th, the mayor of the city gave all the C.H.I.M.P.S. medals for saving the city. Joey got a special medal from the mayor and a box of depends as a gag gift from his friends.

Back at headquarters, Jack Cook was dressed in his bow tie and kiss the cook apron. Two pretty girls came up while he was cooking up a victory feast for the agents. They both kissed him one on each cheek as Jack blushed.

Jack baked a special layer cake in the shape of the weather machine and put it in a pan of yellow gelatin.

"Hey Joey I made a special treat just for you!“

"It looks like the weather machine with my pee under it. Bravo Chef!”

"Thank you! Bon appetite.“

"Mmm cake! I’m not touching the pee part tho,” Jimmy chimed in as he reached for a piece of the cake.

"Keep your hairy paws off weremonkey boy!“ Joey replied.

"I got a treat for you right here Jimmy,” Jake invited.

"Yes, let them eat cake! I got something much better to feed on. Howwll!“

As Joey and Lucas enjoyed Chef’s scrumptious desert. Jake and Jimmy disappeared together into the moonlight. Joel followed Ben back to the cabin where they did not get frozen out of their first kiss this time. Connor and Jude held hands as they skated away together into the Valentine’s eve night.

Happy Valentine’s Day y'all!