C.H.I.M.P.S.: A Christmas Scare-All
Story and characters © 12-24-2016 revised 12-7-2018 by Joshua J. Weremonkey
In this episode Smiles The Clown prepares for a jolly Christmas party while a greedy shop owner cause chaos in town. Also, we find out if our secret agents escape the snow globe world of Krampus.
Characters in this story:
Jake Walker, secret agent
Jimmy Wolfe, secret agent
Smiles The Clown, mysterious eccentric
Ant, sidekick of Smiles The Clown
Krampus, ancient, evil horned half goat, half demon
Max, kid imprisoned inside the snow globe world of Krampus
Ebenezer Von Rummpp, stingy shop owner
Noah Byers, skater kid
Levi Pan, skater kid
Pete, dragon kid
Doctor Sam Lord, doctor
Ghosts of Christmas past, present and future
Joel Hunter, secret agent
Ben Sawyer, secret agent
Joey Leake, secret agent
It was Christmas Eve 2016. Secret agents Jake Walker and Jimmy Wolfe remained trapped inside the snow globe world Krampus imprisoned them in since Halloween. Still, the friends were making the best of it. Jimmy walked up to the bed where Jake was napping. The room was dark but there was a glow that illuminated Jimmy as he was only wearing a garland of sparkling tinsel.
"Wakey! Wakey! Merry Christmas Jakey! I have a present for you!"
Jake moaned and then opened his eyes wide, "Oh, yes. Totally hot and perfect present my love! Get in bed and we can warm up our nutcrackers."
"Oh yes, jingle my bells Jakey." Jimmy replied.
Max was walking by their bedroom just before Jake and Jimmy got busy. Max noticed quicksand that was as white as the snow flakes of a snow globe. It was quickly filling the bedroom from the floor up and he had to warn them.
"Sorry to disturb you guys but look around your bed!" Max yelled out.
It was too late. The quicksand had a hold of Jake, Jimmy, and even Max. They were all being sucked under.
"Oh, no! This is it my love. Our time has run out." Jimmy cried out as he held Jake close.
"Don't fear, Jimmy. We will always be together. I just know it somehow." Jake said as he remained in Jimmy's loving arms and reached his hand out to hold Max's so he would not be alone at the end either.
It was early Christmas Eve morning. Smiles the clown gazed out of the bedroom window of his mansion. The snow was gently falling covering the decaying stalks of corn in the fields. Outside his friends were all having fun with snowball fights and making snow forts. Some were even making snow clowns with big red noses. Pete was making snow angels while his dragon was making snow dragons in the new fallen snow. Others were getting ready for a great evening of celebration. That very night there was to be a huge party that started at midnight. There was going to be food, drink, dance and a Christmas concert. Smiles could not wait for all the fun.
Smiles walked back over to his boyfriend Ant who was still asleep in bed. Smiles climbed back into bed to get some more rest since he knew it was going to be a long yet fun day. He put his arms around Ant. As he did Ant snuggled closer. Smiles kissed Ant on the cheek and softly patted the antlers on his head. Smiles pulled the warm blanket over himself and his love. They both were soon fast asleep.
When Smiles awoke, he sat up in bed and grabbed his cell phone. He called Scrooge-like Ebenezer Von Rummpp who was in a small village outside the mansion. He asked him to get the word out about the party.
"Hey Ebenezer, you need to print up some flyers for the party tonight and have someone pass them out. There will be extra cash in it for you so make haste!"
"Will do, Smiles! I'm on it sir!"
Noah Byers was walking down the main street of the village and came upon a help wanted sign in a shop window then went inside.
"I've come about the ad for a job posted on your front window, sir." Noah said.
Ebenezer took his time to look up at Noah then grumped, "I have flyers to be handed out. Can you stand in the front of my store and hand them out without pestering me?"
"Yes, sir. I can do that." Noah replied.
Ebenezer looked as though he was in deep thought then replied, "I suppose I can hire you. A penny for every flyer that you get into someones hand. The payment will be daily and off the books. You will tell no one or I will fire you and say I never saw your silly little face." Ebenezer then shoved a heavy pile of flyers into Noah's arms, "Now take this stack and get to work and don't even think of throwing them in a dumpster and saying you handed them all out!"
Noah went outside to pass out the flyers. Soon it was getting dark so he went back inside.
"What are you doing back in here? There are still flyers in your hand!"
"Well, sir, it's getting dark outside."
Ebenezer handed Noah an ancient looking lantern, "Take this, get back out there and hand out the rest of the flyers! You will not get one penny for a job not yet finished!"
Noah went back outside and finished handing out all the flyers then went back inside Ebenezer's office.
"All the flyers are handed out, sir." Noah informed Ebenezer.
"I suppose you desire to be paid now." Ebenezer snorted at the boy.
Ebenezer opened his cash box and as slow as he could counted out one penny at a time to Noah on the table.
"There you go sixty six pennies. I do pay way too much to you hooligans. Now be back tonight at eleven sharp and don't be late! I want more flyers to be handed out to people in the street to let them know about my clients Christmas Eve party."
Noah looked at the pennies in his hand and knew he handed out way more flyers but did not ask for more. He needed the money but also did not wish to come back so said to Ebenezer, "But, but tonight is Christmas Eve, sir and I have plans."
"So what? I need you here. Do you want the job or not? I can find any bum off the street you know."
"I'll be here but don't you have someone who you care for and cares for you that you want to celebrate Christmas Eve with?"
"Rubbish! Love is the only thing more ridiculous than celebrating Christmas. Now off with you and be here tonight or I'll fire your lazy little behind!"
Noah sadly trudged back to his small room in the village to see his best friend Levi Pan sitting down holding his leg.
"What happened Levi? Are you okay?"
"I wrecked my leg real bad skating. It hurts something fierce."
"Oh, man. Let's get you to the Doc's. Here, let me help you up."
Noah called his friend Pete on his cell to ask if he and his dragon could fly Levi over to the Doc's.
"Noah, my leg is all numb. I can't even feel it now. I wrecked it good this time."
"It will be okay buddy. We'll get ya all fixed up. Pete and his dragon are on the way."
Pete and his dragon arrived faster than any ambulance. They flew Levi and Noah to the Doc's inside of Smiles the clown's mansion.
"We are here to see the Doctor. Levi wrecked his leg real bad."
A nurse dressed in white with clown makeup and a rainbow colored wig handed a clipboard through the window to Levi, "Fill out this form please."
Noah helped Levi sit down and filled out the form for him then handed it back to the nurse.
"Let me get Doctor Lord." The nurse said as she squeezed a clown horn, "BEEP! BEEP!"
"I've seen Stranger Things before but this Doctor's office is downright weird!" Noah said.
"Doctor Lord says he will see you now." The nurse announced.
Noah put his arm around Levi to lift him up and take him into the Doctor's office. Doctor Sam Lord was sitting there with a burlap sack tied over his head and holding a broken pumpkin sucker in his hand.
"Okay, let's take a look at that leg. Can you help your friend remove his pants please?"
Noah unbuttoned Levi's pants and carefully slid them off gently so not to hurt his friends leg anymore. Levi still winced in pain.
Doctor Lord tapped the jagged pumpkin sucker on Levi's leg to check it, "Does this hurt?"
Levi screamed out in agony, "OWWWWW!! Fuck, yes that hurt!"
"Sorry. I need to take an x-ray. Can you help your friend over to the machine?"
"Sure." Noah offered.
Levi got the x-ray done and the Doctor went into another room to look at it.
Levi smiled, "That machine didn't scan right thru my boxers and take pictures did it?"
"Yeah Levi, the Docs in there right now trying to figure out why you have three legs." Noah laughed as he leaned over to kiss Levi.
"Awww, so nice but we better cool it or I'll have to explain the tent in my boxers to the Doc." Levi said.
"Well, the Doc will know right away what condition that is." Noah laughed.
"If my leg is permanently wrecked and I end up lame or something you'll still be my boyfriend right?" Levi asked.
"Of course, Levi. I'll always be your boyfriend no matter what. I totally love you. You just gotta stop thinking you can fly around like Peter Pan on your skateboard."
Noah and Levi started to hug as the Doctor walked back in.
"Wish I had better news. You have a torn ligament. That can be healed with day surgery and rehab but..."
Noah held Levi closer awaiting the news.
"It's just that terrible fall you had at the old schoolhouse back when you were eight years old. I saw some new scar tissue around the base of your spine. It hasn't affected you yet but there's a good chance in a few months it will. You will eventually lose your ability to walk and very possibly much worse. I'm so sorry."
"I won't be able to walk anymore Doc? What do you mean much worse? I won't be able to skate? Oh man, Levi." Noah said as tears welled up in his eyes.
"There's nothing we can do?" Levi asked the Doctor.
Doctor Lord took a deep breath and explained, "It's much worse than not being able to skate. We will have to see. It is urgent you stop back after Christmas. There is a radical new procedure that has been successful in all the cases they have tried so far. It's not covered by any insurance and costs a lot. Here are some pills for the pain for now."
Pete and his dragon were patiently waiting outside and flew Noah and Levi back home. Pete could see his friends were very upset so did not ask what happened at the Doctor's. When they arrived home, Noah layed Levi on the bed and made him comfortable as could be.
Noah hugged Levi close and said, "I have to tell Mr. Von Rummpp I can't hand out flyers tonight. I will be back quick.
"Please hurry back Noah!" Levi pleaded.
"I sure will." Noah promised as he kissed Levi on the lips.
Noah skated as fast as he could over to Ebenezer's office. He opened the door and stepped into the shop.
"You are late!" Ebenezer bellowed.
"Sorry, I had some serious things going on at home and..." Noah began to explain.
Ebenezer interrupted before Noah could explain and hollered, "No excuses. You are fired! Now get out of here. I don't want to see your face ever again!"
"Fine! I was gonna quit anyway you miserable old Scrooge!" Noah screamed.
Ebenezer stomped out of the office in a rage and left his cash box wide open.
Noah thought out loud to himself, "I really should take this frigin' money from Von Rummpp. He's got plenty. Then I can afford to get Levi the help he needs." Noah in a moment of weakness reached into the cashbox but then decided against it, "No, I can't do it, this is not the way."
Ebenezer stomped back into the room and saw Noah by his precious cash box, "What are you doing? Thief! Thief!"
Noah ran out the door right into a cop who made him go back into Ebenezer's shop.
"What seems to be the problem here?" The cop inquired.
"This boy was about to steal money from my cash box. Take him off to jail!" Ebenezer commanded.
"Is this true boy?" The cop inquired.
"I, I thought about it but changed my mind. I couldn't go through with it." Noah tried to explain.
"Is there any money missing from the cash box?" The cop asked Ebenezer.
"I am sure there is. Lock him up and throw away the key!"
"Down to the station we go boy."
"But sir, I didn't take any money. Look my pockets are empty."
"He is a liar and a thief!"
Noah ran out of the store before the cop could arrest him.
"Get him you fool!" Ebenezer commanded.
"Right away Mr. Von Rummpp sir." The cop complied as he ran out the door in hot pursuit of Noah.
Ebenezer went into his bathroom to relax in a bathtub full of ice cold water.
"Ahh, time for a soothing cold ice bath!"
As soon as Ebenezer began to relax, chains rattled and a misty figure walked in on Ebenezer.
"Who are you? Get out of my house now!"
"I am the first of three ghosts sent to change your evil ways before it is too late. I am the ghost of Christmas past."
"Rubbish! Get out of here before I have you thrown in jail for trespassing."
The ghost lifted up his arms making Ebenezer rise out of the bathtub.
"How, what is going on? I demand an answer!"
"Here is your robe. Put it on and come with me. Your past awaits."
The ghost blew open the bathroom door. He and Ebenezer soon stepped into a living room all decorated for Christmas with a little boy and his Mommy standing there.
"This is odd. How is it that I am in my home when I was just a little boy. Oh, there's my Mommy. Hey Mommy, over here it's me Ebby!" Ebenezer waved.
"She can't hear or see you silly." The ghost taunted.
"Look what Santa brought you Ebby!" Mommy said.
"It's a toy choo choo. Oh, I love it so Mommy!" The little boy Ebby said as he hugged his Mommy.
"Oh, how I loved that toy train. It burnt up in a fire. Everything burnt up in that dreadful fire. I lost the toy train, this house, my Mommy. I lost everything. Christmas be damned! It's not fair."
Ebenezer woke up sobbing in the bathtub of ice to see yet another ghost standing before him.
"Awww! Boo hoo, look at wee baby Ebenezer cry his wittle eyes out."
"What do you want from me? You all are most cruel to do this to me. Leave me alone."
"Tough. This is how your story goes. I am the ghost of Christmas present."
"For your information my crying was a rare weak moment. I did get rich from that fire. Mother had a fine insurance policy. I am rich beyond anyone's wildest dreams and answer to no one!"
"Enough boasting Ebenezer! Uut of that tub of ice! Who bathes in ice cubes anyway? Sick! Now, come on I'm in a hurry. We got stuff to do before Christmas Eve is over."
The ghost took Ebenezer by his pasty, wrinkled hand. They flew outside and then through the doorway of the room where Noah and Levi were talking.
"A cop is after me. Mr. Von Rummpp thinks I took some money from his cash box. I thought about doing it but I just couldn't. Then I just ran away." Noah cried.
"I'll hide you if the cop comes Noah."
"Thanks Levi. You're the best."
"Even though I'm gonna be a worthless cripple. I can still do some things right now."
"Don't think that Levi. There's always hope and whatever happens I will love you forever."
Noah and Levi hugged as they heard a loud knock on the door.
"Quick, hide Noah!"
Before he could hide, the cop busted down the door and said, "Noah Byers you are under arrest for theft of money from Mr. Von Rummpp. You have to come with me now."
"Please, don't take him to jail. He didn't do anything!" Levi said.
"Let's not make this any more difficult than it has to be."
"It will be okay Levi. They will find out that I am innocent."
"Well, that boy stole my money." Ebenezer said to the ghost as they observed what was happening.
"Ebenezer, you jerk! Did you even count your cash box to see if he took any money?"
"No, I saw him with his hand in it. That's proof enough. He's a thief. I should not feel bad."
The ghost shook his head and said, "I am beginning to doubt there is any hope for you Mr. Von Rummpp."
"Mr. Ghost, one question if I may, will that Levi kid really become a cripple?"
"Definitely, without an expensive operation and unfortunately much worse than that."
"What do you mean, much worse?"
Ebenezer woke up once again in his icy bath.
"Aargh! Why must you wicked ghosts torment me so?"
"It's for your own good, my son. You held such promise in your soul as a young boy. I do not wish to give up on that light just yet."
"And just who, what are you supposed to be?"
A brilliant light filled the room melting the ice cubes in the bathtub.
"I am not what or who. I am all things. I am everyone. I am the light."
"What kind of demented babble do you speak, ghost?"
"I will make it simple for you. For now I am your ghost of Christmas future. Walk with me."
Ebenezer and the ghost walked through the wall into a cemetery where they saw a familiar boy crying at a graveside.
"Oh, Levi. I miss you so much. If only I did take that money and get you the operation you might still be here. It's all my fault."
"Is this Noah? Are you trying to show me that tiny Levi is going to die?"
"Yes. One of the gifts I give to everyone is that of free will. It is also one of the most misused gifts. You see, my son, you had the free will to help Noah and in turn help Levi. Instead, you turned your back on them, blinded by your own greed. Sadly, many blame me when something tragic happens yet I have already given them the tools to help themselves. There is one more thing I must show you before letting you use your free will, hopefully more wisely this time."
Ebenezer and the ghost floated into Ebenezer's store where he saw himself at his desk counting his cash box as two armed robbers ran in.
"Your money or your life!"
"What? Let me think about it!"
The second robber shot Ebenezer and he fell to the floor lifeless
"Oh, dear! This is the future for me?"
"Perhaps it is, my son. Only you can change it. Remember you are blessed. You have free will. You have the power to change all this."
"I will. I promise. Please ghost, find it in your heart to forgive me."
"I can and will forgive you, my son but you must set things right"
Ebenezer woke up in his bath, dressed and ran outside and saw a young blond haired vampyre boy walking by.
"What day is it?"
"Don't you know? It's Christmas Eve of course!"
Ebenezer kissed the boy on the cheek and said, "Merry Christmas Eve! Most Merry Christmas Eve indeed!"
"Are you crazy? Stay away from my friend and me old man or I'll get the cops!"
"It's okay. Everything is just dandy. It's Christmas Eve. Wonderful Christmas Eve! Here take a hundred dollar bill and you take one too."
"What? Do you think you can buy us or something? I'm getting a cop!"
"Call the cops. I love cops! I love everything and everyone!"
The vampyre boy Henry hissed at Ebenezer and was about to bite him.
The other boy Dylan said to Henry, "Don't bite that old man. His blood will make you as nuts as he is."
Dylan with his psychic abilities sensed there was a cop nearby and shouted for help.
"I am Sheriff Carl Grimes. What seems to be the problem here?"
"This guy is crazy. He kissed my friend and then gave him money. I think he's a pervert."
Ebenezer kissed Sheriff Carl on the cheek.
"Okay, that's it sicko! Off to the station with you."
Sheriff Carl threw Ebenezer into the same jail cell as Noah while Levi was there visiting.
"Okay, time to cool off for a while Ebenezer. It looks like you have had way too much of that funny eggnog. You better leave that boy in there alone or I'll take no pity while I beat you senseless with my barbed wire nightstick."
"My dear Noah. Tiny Levi! Merry Christmas Eve to you both !"
"What, are you drunk?"
"Not at all. I am awake for the first time in many years. I am so very sorry for what I have done to you. I see that now. I am dropping all charges against you Noah. Please forgive me."
"Well, ummm, thank you Mr. Von Rummpp." Noah responded with a surprised look on his face.
"When I get out of the slammer, I am gonna call a specialist and we'll get you skating again in no time Levi. I insist on paying for everything to help make up for all the wrong I have done to you and Levi."
"Really? Wow! Thanks!" Levi said as he smiled broadly.
"Wow, thank you Mr. Von Rummpp!" Noah echoed.
"My pleasure. Now let's get that cop in here to get you both out of here. Hey warden!"
"What do you want now sicko, to french kiss me?" Sheriff Carl said.
"Only if you want me to, big boy." Ebenezer said and he winked at Carl, "Please bring me any papers that need to be signed. I hereby drop all charges against Noah. Please set him free so they can enjoy Christmas Eve together."
"Will do on the papers but absolutely no thank you to the french kiss. I don't go in for that sort of thing." Sheriff Carl replied as he huffed while shifting his Sheriff's hat.
"Can't you let Mr. Von Rummpp out too ? He can come with us. We'll make sure he doesn't get in any trouble." Levi pleaded.
"I suppose. After all, it is Christmas Eve and I would much rather be up at Smile's mansion for the party and concert. Don't know why you want that sicko hanging around but to each his own. Okay, out the both of you!"
Ebenezer danced around and exclaimed, "Freedom! Freedom!"
"Don't even think I won't throw you back in there if you even try to kiss me again," Sheriff Carl warned.
"Thanks for giving me a second chance every one." Ebenezer said.
"I guess Christmas brings out the best in everyone." Noah added.
"God bless us every one!" Tiny Levi exclaimed.
At Smile's clown mansion, Jake, Jimmy, and Max came crashing through a portal in one of the mansion's bedroom ceilings.
"We are alive. I knew we would be okay. I just knew it!" Jake happily announced.
"Yes, but where are we?" Jimmy asked.
"Hi, I'm Lukas! What am I doing? Hi, I'm Elias! What's Lukas doing? Are you alright Mommy?" Two boys asked Jake, Jimmy and Max in turn.
"I think I know where we are. I remember those two. We are back inside the mansion of Smiles the clown!" Jake said.
Meanwhile, Smiles and Ant were on their way to the party when they heard the loud crash in one of the bedrooms. They went inside to investigate. The saw it was Jake and Jimmy back from the snow globe world with a new boy Max.
"Welcome home!" Smiles cheerful greeted his guests.
"I didn't think you would be so happy to see us Smiles." Jake said.
"I actually am very happy to see you. I never meant for Krampus to be so evil and imprison you in the snow globe world. Please join us at our midnight Christmas Eve party." Smiles invited as he noticed both Jake and Jimmy were pretty much naked continued, "Didn't nasty old Krampus have clothes for you in the snow globe world? Oh well, there should be clothes your size in the wardrobe over there."
"Well, yes but Jimmy and I were well..." Jake tried to explain.
"No need to explain." Smiles replied, "More than we all need to know.
"TMI! TMI!" Ant barked.
Smiles walked out of the room with his arm around Ant's shoulder. They strolled down the marbled hallway and down the grand staircase to the party. Jake, Jimmy, and Max followed. Smiles walked by all his friends and waved. Smiles saw Henry the vampyre boy and gave him a quick pinch on the bum. Henry let out a squeak and then grinned happily displaying his sharp teeth.
Pete and his dragon had carried Noah, Levi along with the reformed Ebenezer to the party. Dylan, Henry and Sheriff Carl had also tagged along.
Joel Hunter was sitting on a bright red, overstuffed sofa with his arms around Ben Sawyer. He was content but concerned about something. He kept checking his DM's hoping to get a message from his good friend Joey Leake. He had not seen him in since shortly after Halloween.
The choir Libera came onto the stage to perform for everyone. They began to sing "Carol Of The Bells."
Smiles and Ant embraced as they sat together in the front row throne watching the concert. Jake and Jimmy kissed. They were truly grateful to be safe and free from the snow globe world. Everyone was having fun and enjoying the wonderful party. This was indeed a Merry Christmas.
Meanwhile, Krampus scowled when he discovered a few of his hostages had found their way out his snow globe world. Krampus figured there must be a malfunction or some sort of leak in his snow globe world. It would have to be fixed but since it was past midnight and now Christmas Day there was little he could do. "Next Christmas." Krampus mumbled, "They all will pay next Christmas!